Wishing for fall.

Lately, we've been having some colder, more dreary weather and honestly it has me wishing fall was here.  I'm ready for cold days spent with good books, warm blankets, and hot coffee.  I'm ready for scarves, boots and sweaters.  I've already bought and tried on my fall weather nail polish- a beautiful red wine color.

So, in anticipation for fall I've rounded up some favorite outfit ideas.

Saturday Siesta

Random life updates because a lot has been going on.

1.  My birthday is in 18 days, I'll be 22, and while I'm excited because who doesn't love to celebrate their birthday I'm also sad this will be the first birthday in a while that I haven't celebrated with my girlfriends at our favorite local Mexican restaurant.  

2.  Still no job and not even the slightest prospect of finding one anytime soon.  Where does that leave my Asheville plans you ask.  I don't know.  I was so excited to move that it was all I talked about nonstop but now I've slowed down a bit because I know I won't save enough money to move by January.  

3.  This past week I was a counselor at my church day camp and it was such an amazing week.  We had a fantastic group of kids and I had so much fun teaching them to play kickball, baseball, and watching their relationships with each other and us grow.  By the end of the week, we were all exhausted but none of us were ready for it to end.  

4.  I need to start a diet a.s.a.p 

 

Sex Ed.

My mother has many looks.  You know the kind of looks mothers’ give when you are acting up, or when she wants you to be quiet – those kinds of looks.  She has mastered all of them and used them numerous times in my life so I know them all pretty well.  I also know my mother’s beliefs including sex before marriage.

Last night my mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table; she was scrolling through Facebook and her iPad and I was chattering about my day when she came across a picture one of her favorite preacher’s had posted.  It said, “I will not teach my children about safe sex because there is no such thing as safe sex.” Then, came the look.  I’m not afraid of talking about “taboo” topics with my mom because we respect each other’s opinions and thoughts.  We have had many discussions and each had our own different set of opinions.  So I had two options when she read this aloud- I could either a) not say a word and leave this conversation for another day or b) launch into a deep discussion we usually save for car rides.  I chose option a, I was just too tired to get into it and I didn’t want to start up a long conversation. 

           

            I lay in bed thinking about what the picture said and how I completely disagreed with it but I also knew just by the look my mother gave that she completely agreed with it. My mother would claim that God did not intend for us to have sex before marriage and therefore we shouldn’t teach our children safe sex because they shouldn’t be having it.  She would say that if we teach our children that sex before marriage is wrong then we wouldn’t have to have a “safe sex talk”.  Now, I have grown up in a Baptist church I was saved at about 12 or 13 and I try to live my life as a good Christian.  But, I also went to college and learned a lot and it changed how I view things.  I would have argued that while yes I agree we should teach our children that we shouldn’t have sex before marriage, we should also realize that children are not always going to follow that rule.  Children are faced with difficult decisions and they rely on what we teach them to make a decision but they also rely on what other kids their age are doing.  It is more and more common at younger ages for kids to start experimenting with sex and they should be educated.  If kids are going to do it then they should know what it is. 

            Sex in general is a topic many parents or families don’t want to have with their children.  The parents are embarrassed as well as the children.  Children feel that parents don’t understand them and parents are often blind to what their kids may or may not be doing.  While I don’t have children of my own, I have 3 cousins and 2 nephews that I consider my kids.  The oldest is 17 and they trickle down all the way to 7.  I look at them and I can’t imagine any of them knowing or trying some of the things I tried when I was their age.  It terrifies me that they may know some of things I knew in 8^th grade or that they have experimented with some of the things I was exposed to at their age.  But, I am also not oblivious to changing times and I understand that it’s better for them to be educated by me than by their peers.  Some would argue kids are getting information through classes at school.  I’ve been through those classes and they didn’t teach me anything, plus as a parent we can’t rely on others to educate our children completely.  We are there to fill in the gaps.  We must answer the hard, awkward, weird questions that the kids are too afraid to ask in class.  While, some Christians say they won’t teach their kids safe sex because there is no such thing is naïve and yes they can have their own opinions and they have a right to raise their children the way they believe is best.  But, I have to question is not teaching them about safe sex also endangering their lives?  These kids who end up pregnant at 16, who have STI’s at a young age, those who are depressed because they had sex and now don’t understand the emotional changes that are involved, the body changes that are involved and everything that comes with having sex before you are ready is this not hurting our children? Doesn’t that make this our responsibility to teach them as a way to keep them safe? Is not teaching our child about safe sex a legal form of neglect?   

Yes-no-maybe so?

I was living on a high for a few weeks but I have finally come down and faced reality.

Moving out is hard.  And expensive.  Basically, I planned on working non-stop the next 5 or 6 months, saving every penny and moving but the problem was I totally and completely forgot about my $400.00 a month loans which put a major dent in my plans.  Sarah and I figured we would need about $5,000.00 each to be able to move and with my loans there is just no way I can save that much by January.

I'm not going to lie- I wanted to give up and quit.  I was so discouraged I cried myself to sleep and cried the entire next day.  I convinced myself to quit.  But, truth is, I don't want to quit.  Moving is something I want really bad and maybe it won't happen by January and maybe it will but I'm going to work and save and move when I have the money and that will be okay.

On the bright side, I applied for a receptionist job at my moms work today and I'm really excited.  It's a company I could grow with and a really amazing opportunity with a great company so fingers crossed!

Bedroom Design

I'm trying to design my bedroom for Sarah and I's soon to be new apartment and I'm having a tough time deciding on what I like.  HELP PLEASE!!

I'm torn between going with soft neutrals and whites or going all out and playing with color.  

Coming January 2015

I hope I’m not jinxing myself by writing about this before I’m 200% sure it’s going to happen but I’m just so excited I have to write it down and get it out before I explode. 

Sarah (my roommate from college) and I are planning to move to Asheville, NC and move in together!! We made the decision in like 5 seconds flat.  When she was here recently for her visit she talked about wanting to move back to Asheville and the next day she texted me saying she was serious about saving money and moving and I decided right then and there that if she was then so was I.  We don’t have many plans right now except that we’re both saving for money and I’m planning a trip to Asheville to check out the apartments they have to offer. 

The word excited doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling.  Both Sarah’s and I have felt lost since moving back home, we have no real goals or aspirations since graduating and I think this is exactly what we need.  I missed my family when I left for school but now that I’m back home I’m missing my friends.  At this stage in my life I need them right now, I need the separation from my family.  Don’t misunderstand I love my family more than anything in the world and honestly I don’t know where I would be without their love, support, and help.  But, I’m growing up (ha-ha) and I need the separation to find who I am and grow as a person. 

But, if I’m being honest I have reservations about moving.  Asheville is where my brother died and that scares me, it scares my mother and my brother replied with “now I’ll lose another sibling to Asheville.”  I don’t anticipate following in Jeremy’s steps but it’s scary.  Asheville is so different from Greensboro and I’m worried I’ll get caught up in the “ashevilleness” and forget who I really am and my values. 

Bible School

My church has been hosting a weeklong bible school since I was a child and I attended as a student until the age of 12.  At the age of 13 I started helping and have been helping since then, I am now 21 (you can do the math).  This week was my first time as a teacher and the first year we changed up how bible school ran.  I was with the 3-5 age group this week and I’m not going to say it was life changing but it was a blessing.  I hate to admit this has been the longest hardest week in my life.  I have worked all day every day preparing the snacks for all the children and adults which was a total of about 80 snacks and I also had to take care of my grandma 24/7 every day because she had cataract surgery on Monday (my grandma is not an easy patient) and then every night at 6 I loaded the car up and headed to the church and was there working until 10 every night.  I started the next day all over again at 7 sometimes 6 in the morning and quit at 10 sometimes 11. One sprained wrist, one broken leg, and a hurt back later it is all over. 

Now, after all of that, I have witnessed some amazing changes this week in these kids.  New friendships, new relationships, and new faith have been experienced this week and it was such a blessing to be a part of it.  I had 15 kids in my class and while some of them were already students in my Sunday school class others were visitors from the surrounding neighborhoods.  Our church is located in a very poor neighborhood and the children who came this week were from poor, broken homes and craved attention, love, and even a simple snack.  I watched children of all difference ages, races, and backgrounds come together as one to learn about the life of Jesus Christ and the Bible.  I saw teenagers having fun playing simple games outside and listening intently as they were taught lessons from the Bible.  I saw young children sing Jesus Loves Me and learn stories about Adam and Even, David and Goliath and many more.  It was amazing.  (I’m getting chill bumps as I write about it)

One little boy sticks out in my memory- his name is Nathaniel.  He was a visitor at our church and I’m not very sure that he spoke much English or even understood much English.  He was very shy the first night, he didn’t speak, he didn’t play, and he wouldn’t make eye contact and was very withdrawn.  But, each night I watched him and saw as he changed and tonight he was playing, talking, laughing, and singing.  I saw his eyes sparkle as he sang God’s Not Dead and when we played London Bridge after snacks.  It really touched me to know that this child who probably had a hard life and never heard about Jesus was able to open up this week and enjoy himself while learning about God.