Sex Ed.

My mother has many looks.  You know the kind of looks mothers’ give when you are acting up, or when she wants you to be quiet – those kinds of looks.  She has mastered all of them and used them numerous times in my life so I know them all pretty well.  I also know my mother’s beliefs including sex before marriage.

Last night my mother and I were sitting at the kitchen table; she was scrolling through Facebook and her iPad and I was chattering about my day when she came across a picture one of her favorite preacher’s had posted.  It said, “I will not teach my children about safe sex because there is no such thing as safe sex.” Then, came the look.  I’m not afraid of talking about “taboo” topics with my mom because we respect each other’s opinions and thoughts.  We have had many discussions and each had our own different set of opinions.  So I had two options when she read this aloud- I could either a) not say a word and leave this conversation for another day or b) launch into a deep discussion we usually save for car rides.  I chose option a, I was just too tired to get into it and I didn’t want to start up a long conversation. 

           

            I lay in bed thinking about what the picture said and how I completely disagreed with it but I also knew just by the look my mother gave that she completely agreed with it. My mother would claim that God did not intend for us to have sex before marriage and therefore we shouldn’t teach our children safe sex because they shouldn’t be having it.  She would say that if we teach our children that sex before marriage is wrong then we wouldn’t have to have a “safe sex talk”.  Now, I have grown up in a Baptist church I was saved at about 12 or 13 and I try to live my life as a good Christian.  But, I also went to college and learned a lot and it changed how I view things.  I would have argued that while yes I agree we should teach our children that we shouldn’t have sex before marriage, we should also realize that children are not always going to follow that rule.  Children are faced with difficult decisions and they rely on what we teach them to make a decision but they also rely on what other kids their age are doing.  It is more and more common at younger ages for kids to start experimenting with sex and they should be educated.  If kids are going to do it then they should know what it is. 

            Sex in general is a topic many parents or families don’t want to have with their children.  The parents are embarrassed as well as the children.  Children feel that parents don’t understand them and parents are often blind to what their kids may or may not be doing.  While I don’t have children of my own, I have 3 cousins and 2 nephews that I consider my kids.  The oldest is 17 and they trickle down all the way to 7.  I look at them and I can’t imagine any of them knowing or trying some of the things I tried when I was their age.  It terrifies me that they may know some of things I knew in 8^th grade or that they have experimented with some of the things I was exposed to at their age.  But, I am also not oblivious to changing times and I understand that it’s better for them to be educated by me than by their peers.  Some would argue kids are getting information through classes at school.  I’ve been through those classes and they didn’t teach me anything, plus as a parent we can’t rely on others to educate our children completely.  We are there to fill in the gaps.  We must answer the hard, awkward, weird questions that the kids are too afraid to ask in class.  While, some Christians say they won’t teach their kids safe sex because there is no such thing is naïve and yes they can have their own opinions and they have a right to raise their children the way they believe is best.  But, I have to question is not teaching them about safe sex also endangering their lives?  These kids who end up pregnant at 16, who have STI’s at a young age, those who are depressed because they had sex and now don’t understand the emotional changes that are involved, the body changes that are involved and everything that comes with having sex before you are ready is this not hurting our children? Doesn’t that make this our responsibility to teach them as a way to keep them safe? Is not teaching our child about safe sex a legal form of neglect?