Monograms and Mochas: Emotional Cutting

Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Repeat a day over and change what you said or where you went? You could have a complete do-over. Change the fate of the day, or even your life. Or maybe, change something about yourself. Any part of yourself. There’s a lot I would change about me. There’s a lot I hate about myself. I’m a terrible driver like really bad. I speak before I think. I care too much about what others think of me. I worry constantly. I trust to easy. I fall in love fast and hard. But most of all, what I hate most of all but can’t control. I can’t make myself stop. I’m an emotional cutter. Don’t freak out, I don’t actually cut. It’s exactly what it sounds like. I hurt myself emotionally. I put myself in situations where I’ll be hurt, or I’ll listen to a freaking song that will purposefully make me feel bad or sad. I’ll do whatever it takes to make myself feel bad and the worse I feel the better. As sick as it sounds, it makes me feel better. I like to make myself feel bad because I feel better later. I don’t know how this works or why. I don’t even know what made me realize that I do this. Like I said before though, I hate this about myself. It’s kind of sick in a way but I can’t make myself stop.

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