Anniversaries...

Today marks 10 years since my grandfather died and 5 months since Jeremy died.  It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long for either one of them.  It’s crazy how fast days, months and even years fly by, but it feels like yesterday that it actually happened.  My grandfather passed from cancer and I was about 11 years old.  It was hard.  Extremely hard.  I remember months afterwards I would sit alone in my room with my emo music and just cry.  Now, 10 years later, I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt or I don’t still cry over it but I’m at peace with his passing.  Jeremy on the other hand, I’m not at peace with quite yet.  It’s amazing how many times it hits me that he’s dead.  In the ground, not breathing, not walking, dead.  I can’t wrap my head around it at all.  I’m not at peace about how he died and the effects it’s having on our family.  When my grandfather passed, we were at least somewhat prepared and it wasn’t a complete shock.  That wasn’t the case for Jeremy it was a complete shock.  We didn’t have the chance to prepare our minds and hearts.  Tomorrow will be hard.  I can’t imagine how Maria and the boys will handle it.  I’m not even sure how I will handle it.  I’m posting some photos in memory of both my grandfather and my brother (both amazing men who I will forever admire and look up too).  It’s cheesy and might be lame but at least it’s something.