It's been four days since I graduated. Funny how I used to countdown the days until graduation and now I'm counting how many days it's been. This has been the longest four days of my life- they feel like they'll never end. Each day I wake up and it's another day that I have to spend away from my friends. Away from James. How has it only been four days when it feels like it's been an eternity since I've seen them?
Moving back in has taken a lot of hard work and between that and shopping I've kept myself busy. But, if I sit for too long or have too much time to think I cry. And when I say cry I mean sobbing, wailing, the embarrassing cry. So, I keep myself busy during the day and I don't come back until someone is home to keep me distracted.
Everyone wants to know "What's your plans?" "Do you have a job lined up?" "What do you want to do with the rest of your life?" I give them the same answer, "I have no plans, no jobs, and I don't know what I want to do." And then, I get the look of disapproval and judgment. Um excuse me, did I not just graduate four days ago? How am I supposed to already have something lined up when everyone wants experience. How am I supposed to have something lined up when I don't even know what I want to do. It's okay to not know. I'm 21 for God's sake. I have time. I have plenty of time to figure out what I want and I'm not going to just jump into some crappy career that I hate but have to work at. I worked too damn (pardon my french) to get some job that I dread going to every single day of the rest of my life. So, everyone needs to back off.
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