Filling the gaps.

It's been 15 days since graduation, 16 days since I've seen James. I miss him. I mean really miss him. My heart literally aches to be near him. Usually, snap chatting help fills the gaps but since he is off on a hiking trip with no service I have zero contact with him. 

I was talking to Sarah recently and I told her I don't get my hopes up about him having feelings for me or a relationship etc because I don't want to be disappointed. And she replied that I ahpd just have fun and enjoy a casual friendship. But the problem is I want him too bad. My feelings are too strong to be just friends. I want more. I need more. And I lied, I have hopes that he will change his mind. Even though deep down I know he won't. I just don't want to be disappointed or sad. 

James, without knowing it, makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to explore and be adventurous. He makes me want to be more healthy and smart. Have a more open mind and new interests. He makes me happy and smile more than normal. 

Our trip in Florida continues with visits to Cape San Blas and Panama City Beach.