9 days.

With only 9 days left they seem to be going by faster and faster.  I blink and the day is over.  I'm scared.  I'm scared about leaving the only friends who have ever known the real me.  My fears, likes and dislikes, my deep dark secrets that I don't share with just anyone.  The friends who have sat with me while I've cried about my brother and more recently about James.  The friends who I can't be embarrassed with because they have literally seen it all.  They're my family.  I'm scared about walking across that stage and entering the adult life I've literally dreamed about and wanted since high school.  I've been waiting for this day for so long and now that it's finally here I don't want it anymore.  Adulthood scares me.  I haven't truly appreciated how easy and effortless my life has been until now.  I haven't realized how lucky I have truly been.  I'm scared about finding a job or not finding a job.  I'm scared that if I do find a job that I won't be good enough and I'll fail.  Failing at school is different than failing at home.  When I'm at school no one has to know I failed except me.  But, failing at home, everyone knows.  There is no hiding from it.