It seems like Jaide and I have been competing for as long as I can remember. Even as kids, we were always competing at being the best, having the best, being the first. Anything and everything was always a competition. And I never noticed before but it's caused a rift in our relationship. I don't think it's actually been a problem until now. There is already guaranteed competition between girls but add in the fact that we grew up like sisters and it makes it 100% worse.
We've always fought to have better grades, be a better person, have a better story, have the better boyfriend or even friends, have more money, have a better job, who went to a better college, who had a better weekend. BLAH BLAH BLAH. It's always been about one-upping the other person. As a kid it wasn't a big deal. It only forced us to do better on the next thing, to win the next time but now as adults it's causing problems in our relationship. We're so busy trying to beat the other that we lost touch of being friends. Of being family. We let our emotions take over and now hatred is the root of our relationship. She hates me when I win and I hate her when she wins, only we don't let it go. The anger and hatred just keeps building causing us to spend less and less time together and to like each other less and less.
I just wonder is this a bad thing? Maybe we don't get along like we used too, and maybe she hates me so much she can't even stand to spend much time with me but is that necessarily a bad thing. Friends come and go all the time and nobody has a problem with it. This is the same idea, so we aren't "friends" anymore, but this competition between us makes us do our best. It causes us to try our hardest and excel at all we do.
So why is that bad? Is the benefit worth the cost? Is being a good person and excelling at what I do worth not having a relationship with my cousin?
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