Sick/Snow Day

I'm going to go ahead and apologize for anything in this post that doesn't make sense.  The past couple of days I have been on the couch 24/7 sick.  I mean really sick.  I've been running a fever; I'll have chills one minute and I'll be burning up the next minute.  My throat is so sore I cringe every time I have to swallow, I'm so congested I can't breathe.  Then last night, the worst of all I had hallucinations.  Yeah, you read that right, hallucinations of little creatures around my room.  It happens every time I get sick.  Seriously.  I'm weird.  But, this morning, I finally went to the on campus doctor and he gave me a z-pack- I'm already seeing improvements.  

Good news though, the past two days have been snow days so I've literally laid in bed and slept.  This was a blessing from God.  Without these snow days I would have missed class and I don't want any absences, yet.  

I'm just hoping the snow clears up for Friday because I'm ready to get home.  I miss my bed, I miss my family, I miss the comfort of being at home when you're sick.  I just need to make it through tomorrow.  

I'm changing the subject completely because I need to express my feelings somehow and I hate boring my friends with it.  When Jeremy died I was devastated, totally torn apart.  At his viewing I stood at his casket with my brother Will, and I cried- really cried.  But, after that, I didn't think about it.  I shoved all my feelings aside and buried them deep within me.  Being at school though has forced me to think about him, and how I feel.  I don't know why but school does that to me.  

I have a lot of regrets.  I may have said this in an earlier post, but I regret a lot of things.  I never, ever told Jeremy how much I loved him.  I never told him I was proud of him.  I never told him that he was an inspiration to me.  I regret not spending more time with him, how silly of me to think I had all the time in the world.  I regret not knowing about him. I regret not being a good sister.  This has been the hardest part of all.  I haven't said that to anyone.  I wasn't a good sister, and I regret that the most.  

Sorry for the depressing post, I'll do a happier one later.